Audio Posts

When Nature Attacks…

This edition of The Five Count was one of those rare instances where Ton went solo. During the show Ton warned the listeners of the dangers of fire ants, broke the news that Dustin was left in traction after a lawn care accident, and explained the intricate process of replacing human body parts with those of barnyard animals. Yes!

Pictured above is one of the numerous notes left in our mailbox by KMSU management during the great “Get The Five Count Cancelled” Campaign of 2005. It was unsuccessful. (Please Note: This insert was available in MSU’s newspaper during homecoming weekend. There were thousands of them lying around campus, but management found one and immediately assumed we were behind some sort of value-destroying conspiracy. This was just one instance in a series of several hilarious injustices against The Five Count.)

Father’s Day With Burl Ives…

This was a special Father’s Day edition of The Five Count. In honor of fathers everywhere, we played the music of everyone’s favorite fatherly troubadour, Burl Ives. During the show we discussed Burl’s comeback into the mainstream, Ton talked about punching bears in the face, and Dustin shared stories about growing up with his father, Wayne Newton. Another great Father’s Day in the books. Grab your pops!

Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds

The Five Count’s Six-Year Anniversary…

This was the special “Six Years of Five Count” anniversary show. It was a star-studded affair, complete with a live performance by The Five Count House Band. During the show we discussed the amazing fact that we’re still on the air after six years and chatted on the phone with our old friends Vomix, Randy “Macho Man” Savage, and Al’s mom. When not hobnobbing with all our adoring fans, the house band ripped through many of today’s biggest hits, including a heart-warming (and shirtless) rendition of George Michael’s Careless Whisper!

The Five Count House Band (L to R: Al Carlson, Dustin Wilmes, Juston “Ton” Cline)

The Origins Of The Five Count (Dead Horse Rewind)

The Five Count’s anniversary is coming up fast, so we’ve decided (against our better judgement) to open up the vaults and dig up the very first episode of The Five Count. The show took place on June 12, 2004. Technical difficulties kept anyone from hearing it properly because the program affectionately known as Overnight Jazz played over the top of it. That’s what happens when you don’t do shows live at KMSU. During the show we discussed the origins of the show, told stories about the dangers of riding the bus, and basically stumbled over words and fumbled with the controls the whole time. It was a mess!

Photo by Amanda Donkers & Pants by Ashley Birk

An Evening With Tenacious D’s Kyle Gass…

This edition of The Five Count featured an exclusive interview with Kyle Gass. Kyle is one half of the greatest band in the world, Tenacious D. He’s also an actor, appearing is films like Elf, Shallow Hal, The Cable Guy, and Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny. During the show he discussed the harsh mistress known as Hollywood, told us about his new band Trainwreck, tried to decide what to order for dinner, and announced that there’s a new Tenacious D album in the making. Hell yeah!

The Five Count Goes Hunting…

During this installment of The Five Count we grieved over the recent rash of celebrity deaths, The Dirty Birds discussed the best way to hunt bears in an urban setting, and Ton shared a story about Dustin stalking the general manager. Gross!

Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds

An Evening With Salute Your Shorts’ Michael “Donkeylips” Bower…

This edition of The Five Count featured an exclusive interview with Michael Bower. Michael is best known as “Donkeylips” from the classic Nickelodeon show Salute Your Shorts. He has also appeared in such films as Dude, Where’s My Car?, The Willies, and numerous TV shows. During the show, Michael discussed what it was like working for Nickelodeon, the trials and tribulations of life in Hollywood, and his current career as a rapper. It’s awful waffle time!

Huge Mega Dudes…

During this installment of The Five Count we discussed the trials and tribulations of being a megastar while at the grocery store, getting kicked out of the YMCA, and Ton told us all how things would be different if he were running “The Maverick Radio Network” instead of KMSU. He’s a dreamer!

Mother’s Day With The Five Count…

This was our special Mother’s Day edition of The Five Count. During the show we sang praises to mothers all over Southern Minnesota, tried to set Ton up with any single mothers in the audience, and gushed over The Five Count House Band‘s recent appearance in the Mankato Free Press. Check out the photo below. The show is lacking in sound quality thanks to faulty KMSU equipment!

The Five Count House Band (L to R: Juston “Ton” Cline, Al Carlson, Dustin Wilmes)

Heavy Petting With The Five Count…

During this edition of The Five Count we discussed Notorious B.I.G.’s secret hideout at Ton’s mom’s, got into an argument over the usefulness of decorative coral, and tried our best to find prom dates. It was the perfect soundtrack for heavy petting at the after prom parties!