Audio Posts

An Evening With Doseone…

This edition of The Five Count featured a special interview with musician Doseone. Doseone is the co-founder of the Anticon record label and one of the best MCs on the scene today, performing with groups like Themselves, Subtle, cLOUDDEAD, 13 & God, and many more of today’s best in the world of hip hop. During the show he discussed his thoughts on today’s hip hop scene, shared the secrets of the art of freestyle rapping, and told a story about embarrassing Eminem in a rap battle at Scribble Jam. We keep it real on The Five Count!

Shows Before Hoes…

During this installment of The Five Count we discussed the numerous advantages of Barry Manilow, the numerous disadvantages of coating your hands in explosive gel, and Dustin reprimanded Ton for putting hoes before shows. Get your priorities straight, man!

Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds

The Five Count’s 300th Show Goes Over The Top…

This was the 300th broadcast of The Five Count! We went Over the Top and celebrated by playing the entire soundtrack from the aforementioned cinema masterpiece. During the show we dissed all the naysayers who said we’d never make it, discussed the pros and cons of taking helicopter rides with Juggalos, and arm wrestled each other until we passed out. The world might not meet you halfway, but you can still listen to the show!

Easter With The Church Universal And Triumphant…

This was a special Easter edition of The Five Count. During the show we tried to lure today’s questionable youth away from the dangers of rock music with help from the Church Universal and Triumphant. We also begged for pledge dollars and broke the news that Ton had died and descended into Hell. Hopefully, on the 300th show (next week) he will rise again!

The Five Count Gets Caught Up In The Crossfire…

During this installment of The Five Count we talked about throwing knives at furniture, reminisced about Ton using semi-automatic weapons to destroy Dustin’s cherished childhood keepsakes, and discussed the art of crossbow warfare with a cab driver. It was an unnecessarily hostile show. Get caught up in the crossfire!

Hipster Ninja

Bullfights & Chest Hair…

This installment of The Five Count featured a heaping mess of ridiculous. During the show we shared stories about Ton’s career as a matador, briefly considered a career as cage fighters, and Ton reprimanded a caller in a Cajun-like fashion. The rest of the show was spent discussing different ways to style chest hair!

Photo by Joe Eggen

An Evening With Troma’s Lloyd Kaufman…

This edition of The Five Count was our special “Tribute to Troma” show, featuring an exclusive interview with the President of Troma Entertainment and Creator of The Toxic Avenger, Lloyd Kaufman. Lloyd is a world-renowned director, producer, actor, author, and has championed the cause of independent media for more than 30 years. During the show we talked to Lloyd about the behind the scenes happenings of Troma, his 40 years as a filmmaker, the dangers of media consolidation, and all the upcoming projects we can expect from Troma in the near future. He even invited us to be extras in the upcoming film Toxic Avenger 5: The Toxic Twins!

Paid Tha Cost To Be Da Sauce Boss…

Even though the funk dust has settled, The Five Count is back with a vengeance for this exciting installment. During the show we gave a caller some advice on how to impress his dates and rock the box, warned dorm residents about the dangers of babies having babies, and Ton explained what it takes to be the sauce boss.

Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds

A Night At Studio 55-Count…

This edition of The Five Count was the final installment of our month-long “Funkuary” shows. During the show we got real sweaty while gettin’ down, recounted Ton’s recent date with KMSU’s Ms. Lona, and shared stories about the days at Studio 55-Count (which was just like Studio 54, only it was in Ton’s bedroom.) Ain’t nothin’ to it but to do it, baby!

The Fudge Count…

After a week-long furlough, we returned with another installment of “Funkuary” on The Five Count. During the show we discussed the logistics of having our own backing-band follow us around, tried to set up Ton with the girl who works at the pretzel hut in the mall, and we planned a trip to the beach. We also changed the name of the show to “The Fudge Count” for the last five minutes of the show. Get funky!

Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds