Audio Posts

An Evening With Impaler’s Bill Lindsey…

This edition of The Five Count not only ended our month-long run of Halloween shows, but also featured an interview with Bill Lindsey, founder and vocalist of the legendary shock rock band Impaler. Impaler has been scaring parents since 1983 and pissed off Tipper Gore enough to put them atop the PMRC’s most wanted list. In addition to discussing the history of the band and playing some Impaler classics, we also conversed about Impaler’s many run-ins with the PMRC, and talked in great detail about the inner-workings of the American Wrestling Association. Take that Tipper Gore!

Shrieks & Creaks…

This edition of The Five Count was the fourth round of our Halloween-themed shows. We played some spooky music and finished out the KMSU pledge drive by whining for big dollars. During the show we also received a call from a puppy mill owner, Ton explained the inner-workings of the economic recession, and we chatted with the proprietor of Crypticon, Minnesota’s premiere horror convention. Scare yourself silly!

The Five Count Live From The Boiler Room…

This was the third installment of our Halloween-themed shows. It was broadcast live from the bowels of the KMSU boiler room. Together we were making spooky radio and begging for pledge drive dollars. During the show we received a phone call from the ghost of Steely Dan, unearthed all the strange things the station manager hid in the crawl space of the boiler room, and discussed the untimely passing of Ton’s biological father, Captain Lou Albano. R.I.P. Capt. Lou!

The Five Count Was Emo Before Emo Was Cool…

The second installment of our month-long Halloween shows featured lots of scary music and scary conversations. During it the show we had an angry caller reciting some poetry, discussed how the ghost of Herb Kroon (Best of Broadway host) haunts the KMSU studios, Dustin told the story of how he invented emo, and Ton shared some memories of his days as the original Noid (the Domino’s Pizza mascot.) A lot of scary ground was covered!

The Five Count Gets Spooky…

This edition of The Five Count was the beginning of a month-long series of Halloween extravaganzas. During the show Ton discussed the intense training regimen he uses to become huge, a caller shared some stories about being a ninja for hire, and we chatted with a young lady who told the haunting tale of what it’s like to be the daughter of KMSU’s Ms. Lona. Talk about spooky!

Terry Funk’s Perm…

During this edition of The Five Count we tried to pick up chicks from Alabama, talked about pro wrestler Terry Funk’s perm, and Ton shared a story about his days in the musical combo Tony! Toni! Tone! Of course, they were known as Tony! Toni! Ton! back then!

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Bustin’ Out On The Funk…

This was a special “Funky Five Count” edition of the show. We celebrated the four-year anniversary of Ton leaving his old show (The Mothership Connection) and officially joining The Five Count. During the show we busted out on the funk, Ton complained about not being black, and then he brought back his old “J.C. The Love Doctor” persona to help the callers get laid. It was audio Spuds MacKenzie!

Artwork by The Brotherhood of Ton

The Five Count Masters The Art Of Shaq Fu…

This installment of The Five Count featured an array of entertaining happenings. We discussed the ways to avoid the swine flu, punching Shaquille O’Neal in the face, the amount of people (excluding women and children) that Ton murdered in cold blood while styling his hair, and the upcoming four-year anniversary of Ton’s firing from The Mothership Connection. It seems like only yesterday!

Lionel Richie Lives…

During this laborious edition of The Five Count we mourned the loss of Lionel Richie, later realized Lionel Richie was still alive, practiced our Skeletor impressions, and then Ton gave the callers the third degree. Happy Labor Day!

The Five Count Takes A Chill Pill…

This edition of The Five Count offered tips to all the new students who just started school and explained the intricate workings of “give and take” that you need to make great radio. The Dirty Birds also taught us how to be chill. We’ve never been more laid back!