Audio Posts

Teach Me Tiger…

During this edition of The Five Count we explained the similarities between the True Punks and Lorenzo Lamas, Ton told a story about the time he used Ton-Bo to punch a hole through Billy Blanks, and Dustin admitted that he tells people he’s really Ton in order to pick up girls. Ton referred to Dustin as “Tiger” and wore camouflage throughout the show!

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A Five Count Thanksgiving…

This was our special broadcast of “A Five Count Thanksgiving.” During the show we discussed the numerous things we’re thankful for, Ton told a story about his affair with Sheila E., and we explained to the listeners the best way to avoid making heinous stuffing. We also premiered a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called D.L.W. It was rather ripping. Thanks for celebrating Turkey Day the Five Count way!

The Five Count Has Swine Flu…

This edition of The Five Count featured an intense discussion about the similarities between Ton and the sleepwear of cats, a calculation of the odds of contracting H1N1 and herpes by fraternizing with the True Punks, and Ton sheepishly talking about roast beef. You may remember Ton from the “What’s Goin’ Down?” episode of That’s My Mama!

A Junior High Sensation…

During this edition of The Five Count we discussed the various trends and slang words found in junior highs across the country that Ton has started over the years, Ton ate a bunch of wasabi and spit fire, and Dustin ate a bunch of Herb Kroon cake and spit blood. We also celebrated the five-year anniversary of the True Punks Do Electro show. It’s been a long, strange trip!

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An Evening With Impaler’s Bill Lindsey…

This edition of The Five Count not only ended our month-long run of Halloween shows, but also featured an interview with Bill Lindsey, founder and vocalist of the legendary shock rock band Impaler. Impaler has been scaring parents since 1983 and pissed off Tipper Gore enough to put them atop the PMRC’s most wanted list. In addition to discussing the history of the band and playing some Impaler classics, we also conversed about Impaler’s many run-ins with the PMRC, and talked in great detail about the inner-workings of the American Wrestling Association. Take that Tipper Gore!

Shrieks & Creaks…

This edition of The Five Count was the fourth round of our Halloween-themed shows. We played some spooky music and finished out the KMSU pledge drive by whining for big dollars. During the show we also received a call from a puppy mill owner, Ton explained the inner-workings of the economic recession, and we chatted with the proprietor of Crypticon, Minnesota’s premiere horror convention. Scare yourself silly!

The Five Count Live From The Boiler Room…

This was the third installment of our Halloween-themed shows. It was broadcast live from the bowels of the KMSU boiler room. Together we were making spooky radio and begging for pledge drive dollars. During the show we received a phone call from the ghost of Steely Dan, unearthed all the strange things the station manager hid in the crawl space of the boiler room, and discussed the untimely passing of Ton’s biological father, Captain Lou Albano. R.I.P. Capt. Lou!

The Five Count Was Emo Before Emo Was Cool…

The second installment of our month-long Halloween shows featured lots of scary music and scary conversations. During it the show we had an angry caller reciting some poetry, discussed how the ghost of Herb Kroon (Best of Broadway host) haunts the KMSU studios, Dustin told the story of how he invented emo, and Ton shared some memories of his days as the original Noid (the Domino’s Pizza mascot.) A lot of scary ground was covered!

The Five Count Gets Spooky…

This edition of The Five Count was the beginning of a month-long series of Halloween extravaganzas. During the show Ton discussed the intense training regimen he uses to become huge, a caller shared some stories about being a ninja for hire, and we chatted with a young lady who told the haunting tale of what it’s like to be the daughter of KMSU’s Ms. Lona. Talk about spooky!

Terry Funk’s Perm…

During this edition of The Five Count we tried to pick up chicks from Alabama, talked about pro wrestler Terry Funk’s perm, and Ton shared a story about his days in the musical combo Tony! Toni! Tone! Of course, they were known as Tony! Toni! Ton! back then!

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