Dead Horse Rewind

The Five Count Live From A Haunted House (Dead Horse Rewind)

It’s Halloween, and what better way to scare the hell out of you than with a trip to the audio vaults? This episode of The Five Count is from Oct. 25, 2008. This was a special Halloween edition of the show and concluded our series of “on location” broadcasts that we featured throughout the month of October in 2008. We set up shop in a haunted house outside of Transylvania to tell ghost stories, gaze at Ton’s chest hair, and tremble in ghastly horror as we made fun of the True Punks. Happy Halloween!

When There’s No More Room In Heaven (Dead Horse Rewind)

It’s been a while, so we’ve decided to head to The Five Count Vault for another Dead Horse Rewind! This show is from April 11, 2009 and was a special Easter edition of The Five Count. We played inspirational music and praised the name of Ton, who many people believe is the real son of God. The Arbitron spikes used to nail Ton to the cross were pulled out and used to make great radio. Ton-men!

Caribbean Closet (Dead Horse Rewind)

We’re opening the audio vaults once again to find out what we were doing 10 years ago. This episode of The Five Count is from Feb. 17, 2007. For this episode Ton was back from his trip to the Caribbean, looking bronzed and ripped, to help Southern Minnesota with their problems. We served up a helping of dating advice for a few folks, including a nerdy girl and some guy from Georgia. We were also harassed by a bunch of guys calling from a closet. Ton retaliated by engaging in salsa dancing. Get oiled up!

Truth About Rock (Dead Horse Rewind)

It’s been a while since we’ve opened up the audio vaults at The Five Count headquarters. To hold you over until the new show this Saturday, please enjoy this blast from the past. This episode of The Five Count is from Oct. 6, 2007. During this episode, with a little help from the Peters Brothers, we discussed the “Truth About Rock.” The Five Count is usually all about fun and games, but for this show we discussed the dangers of today’s secular music. The Peters Brothers examined the lives of rock stars, the lyrics in today’s popular rock songs, and the deadly craze of backward-masking. We think a show like this was long overdue in Southern Minnesota and we hope it was eye-opening for everyone who heard it. Burn your records!


The Five Count’s Four-Year Anniversary (Dead Horse Rewind)

Another anniversary show has come and gone. Were you sad to see it go? Dry those eyes, because The Five Count audio vaults have been opened again to dust-off some moldy oldies. This episode of the show was from June 14, 2008. It was the special four-year anniversary edition of the show. It was hard to believe The Five Count had been around for four years at that point. In fact, it was so hard to believe that it took us by surprise and caused us to do an unprofessional show. The show was more than two hours long and featured an unrehearsed, train-wrecking performance from The Five Count House Band. When the band wasn’t busy tearing it up, we took a few calls from some well-wishers and talked in great detail about Ton’s beard. He looked like ZZ Top. Relive the magic!


The Five Count Live From A Swamp (Dead Horse Rewind)

To help tide you over until this Saturday, we’ve once again opened the audio vaults and pulled out an old, soggy episode of the show we thought was lost in the swamps of time. This episode of The Five Count is from Oct. 4, 2008. During this episode, not only did we celebrate Birk’s birthday whilst simultaneously kicking off the spooky month of October with Halloween-themed tunes, but it was also the first time the show was brought to you from a remote location. That’s right! The show was broadcast live from a swamp three blocks north of the station. Other than a few technical hiccups (Birk being eaten by bullfrogs, etc…) the show was a success. We even received a call from The A-Team.


Christmas Cranks (Dead Horse Rewind)

Christmas is right around the corner! Listen Live at 10 p.m. CT this Saturday for “A Five Count Christmas” installment of the show. To tide you over until then, we’re bringing you an awkward show from Christmas past. Once again we opened the audio vaults and found this episode of “A Five Count Christmas” from Dec. 22, 2007. During this episode of the show we talked about the true meaning of Christmas, whipped out some chestnuts, and mended the differences between listeners who celebrate different customs around the holidays. We tried to keep things merry by singing a few carols, but unfortunately things fell apart toward the end when we turned on the callers. Merry Christmas everybody!


The Five Count’s One-Year Anniversary (Dead Horse Rewind)

Believe it or not, our 10-year anniversary is right around the corner. You long-time listeners of the show probably understand why the first few years of The Five Count aren’t available online. To say we were obnoxious is a gross understatement.

Of course the present-day shows are obnoxious in their own right, but not to the embarrassing extent of the early days. Every once in a while, we decide to open the audio vaults and dig up some of these old shows (against our better judgement) as part of our “Dead Horse Rewind” series.

This edition of The Five Count is from June 11, 2005 and was our big one-year anniversary show. During the show The Five Count House Band made its debut with the most unorganized and under-rehearsed jam session ever broadcast. They were joined by Randy “Macho Man” Savage, who dished up some freestyle rhymes. The rest of the show was filled with sophomoric nonsense.

At midnight, we rebroadcast the pilot episode of The Five Count for anyone who jumped on the bandwagon late. It’s hard to believe we weren’t thrown off the air during our first year. We’ll continue this stroll down memory lane on June 14, 2014 during our 10-year anniversary show!


Santa’s Watching (Dead Horse Rewind)

It’s Christmas time! Our gift to you is an awkward show from Christmas past. We opened the audio vaults and found this episode of “A Five Count Christmas” from Dec. 24, 2005. During the show we played all the yuletide classics, discussed the dangers of staying up too late on Christmas Eve and running into Santa Claus, and Ton tried to set up an appointment to fill Dustin’s mother with Christmas cheer. Hopefully everyone fell asleep in church Christmas Day because they stayed up to listen to it.


Halloween With The Human Taco (Dead Horse Rewind)

Halloween is fast approaching, so the brain trust at The Five Count headquarters decided to open the audio vaults and pull out another blast from the past. This episode of The Five Count is from Oct. 28, 2006. It was a special Halloween edition of the show filled with lots of Halloween music and lots of spooky Halloween tales. During the show we received calls from Count Dracula, a human taco from outer space, a woman filled with road rage, Franken-Mummy-Stein-Wolf Man, a group of obese kids who really liked Darkwing Duck, and a rap battle amongst callers. Dustin spent the show dressed as a gay Hulkamaniac. Relive the magic!