We celebrated Princemas for this edition of The Five Count. During the show we discussed all the reasons why Prince is so great, told the story of how Prince gave Ton his name, and thwarted the sophomoric efforts of the Princemas Grinch, a/k/a The Dirty Birds. Several rugs were defaced during the making of this show!
We danced our way into the new year for this special “Sweatin’ to The Five Count” edition of the show. During the show we tried to sell Birk into slavery, discussed the striking similarities between Ton and Roy Orbison, and sweated profusely as we simultaneously boogied and oogied into 2010. It’s gonna be a great year!
Dustin Wilmes as the New Year’s Baby
For this decade-ending edition of The Five Count we completely abandoned the usual musical portions of the show and went back to our talk-radio roots. Former KMSU superstar and host of The Curfew radio hour Dylan Schultz joined us for the show. Since The Five Count has been ripping off The Curfew for years, resurrecting the old Curfew format for the final show of the ’00s seemed like the right thing to do.
During the show we discussed the numerous stains left on the furniture at KMSU, received another phone call from a disgruntled Santa, slandered LeVar Burton, spoke with Ridge Runner about the pros and cons of wearing moccasins, and reminisced about the good ol’ days. See you next year!
This was our fifth annual edition of “A Five Count Christmas.” It was filled to the brim with merry. During the show we shared loads of Christmas cheer, Ton offered himself up as a gift to the ladies of Southern Minnesota, and we received a phone call from Santa Claus, who explained how the birth of Jesus ruined Christmas. We also premiered a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called, oddly enough, A Five Count Christmas. Merry Christmas!
Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds
This was a precursor to next week’s annual “A Five Count Christmas” show. It was overflowing with Christmas music to get Southern Minnesota in the holiday spirit. During the show we explained the logistics of time traveling with the True Punks, Dustin told a story about his days in the band Pennywise, and we discussed the possibility of being haunted by Ton’s ghost. It’ll make a great soundtrack to wrapping gifts!
An Anonymous Listener Makes a Google Search for The True Punks
This episode of The Five Count kicked off the holiday season with a bang. During the show we tried our best to track down Ton’s numerous illegitimate children, Ton discouraged a would-be killer by disclosing his long-time friendship with champion kick-boxer Sasha Mitchell, and Dustin explained the trials and tribulations of having quintceps (the muscles that come after biceps and triceps.) During the show, Ton’s name was changed to Peck Deck!
This was our special broadcast of “A Five Count Thanksgiving.” During the show we discussed the numerous things we’re thankful for, Ton told a story about his affair with Sheila E., and we explained to the listeners the best way to avoid making heinous stuffing. We also premiered a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called D.L.W. It was rather ripping. Thanks for celebrating Turkey Day the Five Count way!
This edition of The Five Count not only ended our month-long run of Halloween shows, but also featured an interview with Bill Lindsey, founder and vocalist of the legendary shock rock band Impaler. Impaler has been scaring parents since 1983 and pissed off Tipper Gore enough to put them atop the PMRC’s most wanted list. In addition to discussing the history of the band and playing some Impaler classics, we also conversed about Impaler’s many run-ins with the PMRC, and talked in great detail about the inner-workings of the American Wrestling Association. Take that Tipper Gore!
This edition of The Five Count was the fourth round of our Halloween-themed shows. We played some spooky music and finished out the KMSU pledge drive by whining for big dollars. During the show we also received a call from a puppy mill owner, Ton explained the inner-workings of the economic recession, and we chatted with the proprietor of Crypticon, Minnesota’s premiere horror convention. Scare yourself silly!
This was the third installment of our Halloween-themed shows. It was broadcast live from the bowels of the KMSU boiler room. Together we were making spooky radio and begging for pledge drive dollars. During the show we received a phone call from the ghost of Steely Dan, unearthed all the strange things the station manager hid in the crawl space of the boiler room, and discussed the untimely passing of Ton’s biological father, Captain Lou Albano. R.I.P. Capt. Lou!