This edition of The Five Count was the final installment of our month-long “Funkuary” shows. During the show we got real sweaty while gettin’ down, recounted Ton’s recent date with KMSU’s Ms. Lona, and shared stories about the days at Studio 55-Count (which was just like Studio 54, only it was in Ton’s bedroom.) Ain’t nothin’ to it but to do it, baby!
After a week-long furlough, we returned with another installment of “Funkuary” on The Five Count. During the show we discussed the logistics of having our own backing-band follow us around, tried to set up Ton with the girl who works at the pretzel hut in the mall, and we planned a trip to the beach. We also changed the name of the show to “The Fudge Count” for the last five minutes of the show. Get funky!
Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds
We celebrated Princemas for this edition of The Five Count. During the show we discussed all the reasons why Prince is so great, told the story of how Prince gave Ton his name, and thwarted the sophomoric efforts of the Princemas Grinch, a/k/a The Dirty Birds. Several rugs were defaced during the making of this show!
We danced our way into the new year for this special “Sweatin’ to The Five Count” edition of the show. During the show we tried to sell Birk into slavery, discussed the striking similarities between Ton and Roy Orbison, and sweated profusely as we simultaneously boogied and oogied into 2010. It’s gonna be a great year!
Dustin Wilmes as the New Year’s Baby
For this decade-ending edition of The Five Count we completely abandoned the usual musical portions of the show and went back to our talk-radio roots. Former KMSU superstar and host of The Curfew radio hour Dylan Schultz joined us for the show. Since The Five Count has been ripping off The Curfew for years, resurrecting the old Curfew format for the final show of the ’00s seemed like the right thing to do.
During the show we discussed the numerous stains left on the furniture at KMSU, received another phone call from a disgruntled Santa, slandered LeVar Burton, spoke with Ridge Runner about the pros and cons of wearing moccasins, and reminisced about the good ol’ days. See you next year!
This was our fifth annual edition of “A Five Count Christmas.” It was filled to the brim with merry. During the show we shared loads of Christmas cheer, Ton offered himself up as a gift to the ladies of Southern Minnesota, and we received a phone call from Santa Claus, who explained how the birth of Jesus ruined Christmas. We also premiered a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called, oddly enough, A Five Count Christmas. Merry Christmas!
Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds
This was a precursor to next week’s annual “A Five Count Christmas” show. It was overflowing with Christmas music to get Southern Minnesota in the holiday spirit. During the show we explained the logistics of time traveling with the True Punks, Dustin told a story about his days in the band Pennywise, and we discussed the possibility of being haunted by Ton’s ghost. It’ll make a great soundtrack to wrapping gifts!
An Anonymous Listener Makes a Google Search for The True Punks
This episode of The Five Count kicked off the holiday season with a bang. During the show we tried our best to track down Ton’s numerous illegitimate children, Ton discouraged a would-be killer by disclosing his long-time friendship with champion kick-boxer Sasha Mitchell, and Dustin explained the trials and tribulations of having quintceps (the muscles that come after biceps and triceps.) During the show, Ton’s name was changed to Peck Deck!
This was our special broadcast of “A Five Count Thanksgiving.” During the show we discussed the numerous things we’re thankful for, Ton told a story about his affair with Sheila E., and we explained to the listeners the best way to avoid making heinous stuffing. We also premiered a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called D.L.W. It was rather ripping. Thanks for celebrating Turkey Day the Five Count way!