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During this edition of The Five Count we shared tips on proper chest waxing, stirred up an on-air reunion with our former sponsor Finish Line Liquors, and described the similarities between Ton and Udo Dirkschneider (the singer for the metal band Accept.) It was a blistering masterpiece! Listen again here… [Audio clip: view full post to listen] Check The Playlist…

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During this episode of The Five Count we explained the dangers of having “relations” with cattle, Ton talked about proper loofah usage, and we discussed the similarities between the general manager of the station and Bono. It’s uncanny! Listen again here… [Audio clip: view full post to listen] Check The Playlist

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For this episode of The Five Count we spent a lot of time apologizing for our past chauvinistic digressions. Ton was especially disappointed about his tendency to be piggish in the past. During the show we also compared David Bowie to the McDonald’s Big Mac Moon, planned a hacky-sacking road trip to Oregon, and Ton talked with a caller in…

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We danced our way into the new year for this special “Sweatin’ to The Five Count” edition of the show. During the show we tried to sell Birk into slavery, discussed the striking similarities between Ton and Roy Orbison, and sweated profusely as we simultaneously boogied and oogied into 2010. It’s gonna be a great year! Ring it in here……

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For this decade-ending edition of The Five Count we completely abandoned the usual musical portions of the show and went back to our talk-radio roots. Former KMSU superstar and host of The Curfew radio hour Dylan Schultz joined us for the show. Since The Five Count has been ripping off The Curfew for years, resurrecting the old Curfew format for…

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This was our fifth annual edition of “A Five Count Christmas.” It was filled to the brim with merry. During the show we shared loads of Christmas cheer, Ton offered himself up as a gift to the ladies of Southern Minnesota, and we received a phone call from Santa Claus, who explained how the birth of Jesus ruined Christmas. We…

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This was a precursor to next week’s annual “A Five Count Christmas” show. It was overflowing with Christmas music to get Southern Minnesota in the holiday spirit. During the show we explained the logistics of time traveling with the True Punks, Dustin told a story about his days in the band Pennywise, and we discussed the possibility of being haunted…

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This episode of The Five Count kicked off the holiday season with a bang. During the show we tried our best to track down Ton’s numerous illegitimate children, Ton discouraged a would-be killer by disclosing his long-time friendship with champion kick-boxer Sasha Mitchell, and Dustin explained the trials and tribulations of having quintceps (the muscles that come after biceps and…

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During this edition of The Five Count we explained the similarities between the True Punks and Lorenzo Lamas, Ton told a story about the time he used Ton-Bo to punch a hole through Billy Blanks, and Dustin admitted that he tells people he’s really Ton in order to pick up girls. Ton referred to Dustin as “Tiger” and wore camouflage…

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This was our special broadcast of “A Five Count Thanksgiving.” During the show we discussed the numerous things we’re thankful for, Ton told a story about his affair with Sheila E., and we explained to the listeners the best way to avoid making heinous stuffing. We also premiered a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called D.L.W….