This was a special Easter edition of The Five Count. During the show we tried to lure today’s questionable youth away from the dangers of rock music with help from the Church Universal and Triumphant. We also begged for pledge dollars and broke the news that Ton had died and descended into Hell. Hopefully, on the 300th show (next week) he will rise again!
This edition of The Five Count was our special “Tribute to Troma” show, featuring an exclusive interview with the President of Troma Entertainment and Creator of The Toxic Avenger, Lloyd Kaufman. Lloyd is a world-renowned director, producer, actor, author, and has championed the cause of independent media for more than 30 years. During the show we talked to Lloyd about the behind the scenes happenings of Troma, his 40 years as a filmmaker, the dangers of media consolidation, and all the upcoming projects we can expect from Troma in the near future. He even invited us to be extras in the upcoming film Toxic Avenger 5: The Toxic Twins!
This edition of The Five Count was the final installment of our month-long “Funkuary” shows. During the show we got real sweaty while gettin’ down, recounted Ton’s recent date with KMSU’s Ms. Lona, and shared stories about the days at Studio 55-Count (which was just like Studio 54, only it was in Ton’s bedroom.) Ain’t nothin’ to it but to do it, baby!
After a week-long furlough, we returned with another installment of “Funkuary” on The Five Count. During the show we discussed the logistics of having our own backing-band follow us around, tried to set up Ton with the girl who works at the pretzel hut in the mall, and we planned a trip to the beach. We also changed the name of the show to “The Fudge Count” for the last five minutes of the show. Get funky!
Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds
We celebrated Princemas for this edition of The Five Count. During the show we discussed all the reasons why Prince is so great, told the story of how Prince gave Ton his name, and thwarted the sophomoric efforts of the Princemas Grinch, a/k/a The Dirty Birds. Several rugs were defaced during the making of this show!
We danced our way into the new year for this special “Sweatin’ to The Five Count” edition of the show. During the show we tried to sell Birk into slavery, discussed the striking similarities between Ton and Roy Orbison, and sweated profusely as we simultaneously boogied and oogied into 2010. It’s gonna be a great year!
Dustin Wilmes as the New Year’s Baby
For this decade-ending edition of The Five Count we completely abandoned the usual musical portions of the show and went back to our talk-radio roots. Former KMSU superstar and host of The Curfew radio hour Dylan Schultz joined us for the show. Since The Five Count has been ripping off The Curfew for years, resurrecting the old Curfew format for the final show of the ’00s seemed like the right thing to do.
During the show we discussed the numerous stains left on the furniture at KMSU, received another phone call from a disgruntled Santa, slandered LeVar Burton, spoke with Ridge Runner about the pros and cons of wearing moccasins, and reminisced about the good ol’ days. See you next year!
This was our fifth annual edition of “A Five Count Christmas.” It was filled to the brim with merry. During the show we shared loads of Christmas cheer, Ton offered himself up as a gift to the ladies of Southern Minnesota, and we received a phone call from Santa Claus, who explained how the birth of Jesus ruined Christmas. We also premiered a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called, oddly enough, A Five Count Christmas. Merry Christmas!
Artwork by Nora Myers of The Dirty Birds
This was a precursor to next week’s annual “A Five Count Christmas” show. It was overflowing with Christmas music to get Southern Minnesota in the holiday spirit. During the show we explained the logistics of time traveling with the True Punks, Dustin told a story about his days in the band Pennywise, and we discussed the possibility of being haunted by Ton’s ghost. It’ll make a great soundtrack to wrapping gifts!
An Anonymous Listener Makes a Google Search for The True Punks